One Man's Trash

A “crippling” social issue that has been becoming more and more prevalent, even with all the advancement in preventative technology, is the rising rate of children born to young single mothers, most of who are below the poverty line. According to Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas in their book Promises I can Keep, the number has risen from 1 child in 20 born out of wedlock to more than 1 in 3 children just over the past 60 years. However, upon more exploration into the issue, the two came to a surprising conclusion. In the poorer communities in America, having a baby young and single is not always an accident. It isn’t planned usually, but in the eyes of the mother, an unexpected pregnancy is more of a blessing than a curse.
As an 18 year old girl from an upper middleclass family, a baby would be the end of my life right now. My mother has brought home the proverbial bacon since she and my father got married. She had her three children after achieving financial stability and professional success at age 32, 34, and 37. Throughout my entire life, I have had the ideals of many other girls my age who have grown up being told that I can achieve whatever I want. With this idea nailed into my head, as well as many self sufficient female role models to look up to, I’ve grown up knowing that I won’t bring children into this world unless I am in a loving marriage and able to depend on myself financially should anything ever happen . For me, having a child before then would be the ultimate failure. I don’t understand how these women in the poor communities don’t feel the same.
And then I stepped back and took in the scene in one objective sweep. According to the women in question, having a baby is oftentimes the only option. They grow up in a neighborhood where there aren’t many female role models like my mother. No one ever sits them down and tells them that they can achieve great things, much less pounds the idea into their head. What do you do when you have no self worth, no job, not enough education? What’s left? And that’s where the babies come in. Every woman can have a baby. And that’s the answer. A baby is the one thing that a woman is guaranteed in life. And for someone who hasn’t been taught how to believe in herself, a baby is a way to justify her existence.
I still can’t even imagine being pleased about having a baby at my age and life status, but learning to step back and objectively view a situation is helping me to comprehend the differences an environment can make in shaping a person’s future. It’s as true as the cliché ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.’ What may ruin one person’s life may save another’s. We are a product of our environment, and we are shaped by outside influences. I think that is one of the main themes Edin and Kefalas are trying to portray in their book.